A Beginning - My struggles

So I'm starting this blog, and I'm going to use it as a sort of journal of my thoughts. I'll share as much as I'm able, and hope that someone, somewhere, out there, there's a person that finds this a little interesting, maybe even enough to comment. I wonder how long that will take? Does anyone care about my thoughts? don't we all wonder that at some point?

A bit about myself: I live in the midwest. Born and raised as they say. I'm married, have sons, and love Jesus. I also have too many hobbies. More about those later I suppose.

Another thing about me, I'm addicted to food. I emotionally eat. I'm struggling. Life's challenges are draining me and as hard as I try, I'm tempted to stay holed up and not do anything. No cleaning, no cooking, no bible study, no crafts, just sleep. I dream vividly and so sometimes I desire to escape into my dreams and live there where I am magical, I am sexy, I am desired, and I am beautiful. Where there is nothing I can't handle, nothing impossible, and I receive support as much as I give it.

That last one may be what's most prominent in my mind. I've been giving a lot lately, care to my family, help to others, and it's difficult for me to see right now where anyone is giving me care back. Who calls me up just to say "How are you doing today?" "Is there anything I can do to make your day easier?" Why have I never had a friend that would call me up and just want to spend time with me? Why do I always get "Hey, can you do this for me?" "You are so good with that, maybe you could spare this for us?" I love being helpful, I just wish it was interspersed with more "Let's just spend time together. Getting to know each other better." Why does no one have time to just BE? Why oh why . . . ? Why is inviting someone over for dinner never reciprocated? Am I THAT boring to be around? Is my food that HORRENDOUS? Was I the only one having fun ?

Enough thoughts to think about for now, more later . . .