Snow, more snow, and more snow

Well, above are images of my windchime outside my kitchen windows. Last night and then this morning. We were getting quite a bit of melting, but now it's snowing again.





It's very cold. DH is at work, and I have to pick up ds2 from school in 1 hour, so I have to shovel the driveway by myself. I don't mind shoveling, but it's a long driveway, and I think there's probably 3 inches minimum waiting for me .. probably more. 24 Deg and dropping.

I'm feeling a little better right now, I got my paying work nearly finished, just waiting on my boss to give the final ok for the last finishing touches.

I'm struggling with the fact that I broke my cell phone yesterday. I was kind of numb whenit happened, and amazed that dh didn't seem to react to it. I dropped it at the store, and it separated the flip top from the flip bottom :( It actually still works, as the dialing and speaker phone still work, but the top was the display of course, and the vibrate. So cant' see what I'm doing, but could probably call someone if I needed to, and receive calls as well. We went to the store to get another one, and the cheapest one is $100 ! DH didn't make a decision, and so we walked out of the store without anything.

I just can't believe how much money it is, and how I feel so guilty about spending anything on me. Haven't had my hair cut professionally in months, maybe a year - 2?, and stopped my highlights like a year or so ago - ... not getting my massages either like I was - stopped those last fall. I just can't let myself enjoy spending money on me. Why is that? I know why, because deep down, I don't feel I'm worth anything. Part of me says spend it on yourself, cuz even if no one else spends on you, you are worth it. And another part says, if even dh wont' spend anything on my without my saying anything (no vday gift I'm sure, no bday gift, etc .. ) atleast he wouldn't do anything if I didn't say anything .. and this year, I am NOT saying anything .. I'm going to work on keeping my big mouth shut... it just makes everyone else feel bad. I don't feel like I'm complaining or whining or nagging, but whenever I speak my feelings to dh, it makes him upset .. and that just makes everything worse. anyway ..

shoveling isn't going to get done with me typing here. And I can't drive out well withut shoveling first.